O.K.,so you liked that ad on T.V. about some crazied computer commandos fighting their way up the river. If you like intense, nerve quick, reflex action of combat,(well at least on the computer!), then my friend, you're ready for 'River Raid'. So why don't you sit down with a big bag of pretzels and something cool to drink and I'll tell you all about it.



    For the ones that don't know a heck of a lot about River Raid I'll give you a brief rundown. Your goal is to fly up the river canyons and blow the daylights out of everything you see. (It's a real shoot'em up classic.) Your targets may include ships,weather balloons, jets, tanks, bridges, fuel depots and some other goodies I'll just have to keep a secret. But before you get carried away thinking this game was designed for the patience of a two year old, let me tell you about its' challenge and playability.
    I guess you know by now,this reviewer has always remained a gentle,patient, mature video game sportsman. Some smart guy may comment on the fact that my worst monthly bill is in Joystick Repairs, but since I've bought River Raid my monthly payments have tripled. You see River Raid is a kind of three way struggle. Firstly, as you fight up the river,you are met with increasingly intense opposition in both in quality and quantity. Secondly, as you progress, the river in which you fly in, becomes narrower. Not only that, the channel begins to meander. Margin for error becomes increasingly smaller! Finally, fuel depots, in which you must continually refuel, decrease in their frequency as you fly your gas guzzling jet up river. In my own estimation, I would say these Rivver Raid jets burn as much fuel as my Strato-Chief!This three way battle, as my local Joystick repairman has noticed, combines into an intense, exiting game.
    Now that we've all agreed that this is a great game, I suppose ya wanta know a couple of pointers from THE number one master of Video games himself,J.S.D. Well to start with, I guess it would be kinda nice if you had the basic eye/hand coordination down pat before you go on any record breaking performance. Well my advice to you is to start at bridge five and practice shooting the jets that fly across the screen. Secondly, practice refueling,then immediately destroying the given fuel depots. If your a real videosport,you'll appreciate the Extra points award this technique will bring you over the long haul. Finally, as horrid as this may sound, don't be greedy. Even when you start calling yourself a River Raid Pro, your greed to get the maximum kills will always bring you to your end. The secret to this game is Endurance. If you stick to the center and just blow yourself a path through then you'll end up beating your opponent everytime.
    To put a capper on this little review,(I'm sorry but I've run out of pretzels), I'd like to say that the boys,(and gals),down at Activision, sure know their stuff. I'd recommend this game to any ex-commando or any VIDIOT!


P.S. Anyways my top score is 85,410. If you can beat that, I'd like to hear from you. What you can do is drop me a line in care of this magazine, leaving your address or phone number, and I'll get back to you.